Regret

Would now be
different if that
night I had told
you how I felt?
I felt so afraid
to lose what now
seems lost already.
Fear, it's what
made me lie to you.
I told you
I didn't love you -
that I just wanted
to be friends.
I think you knew
it was a lie, perhaps
but you were
relieved, I think.
And so we went
our ways, slowly
drifting away.
And now my
regret lies
in how I
betrayed myself
that night.

© Eleanor Clark
25 August, 2015

While this is a standalone poem, it was written to be preceded by Tonight. 

Tonight

Tonight I said
goodbye -
farewell,
to one-sided love.
I sat across the
table and looked
into your eyes -
the question asked
and answered.
It's not fair to you,
nor me, to layer
this friendship in pain
and awkward silence,
words unspoken,
denied so long ago.
Perhaps one day
I'll feel it was a
good thing, but
tonight, all I feel is
regret.

© Eleanor Clark
25 August, 2015

Although this is a standalone poem, I wrote a follow-up poem to be paired with it called Regret.