Regret

Would now be
different if that
night I had told
you how I felt?
I felt so afraid
to lose what now
seems lost already.
Fear, it's what
made me lie to you.
I told you
I didn't love you -
that I just wanted
to be friends.
I think you knew
it was a lie, perhaps
but you were
relieved, I think.
And so we went
our ways, slowly
drifting away.
And now my
regret lies
in how I
betrayed myself
that night.

© Eleanor Clark
25 August, 2015

While this is a standalone poem, it was written to be preceded by Tonight.