I Have Felt Hell

I have felt hell
while rocking
in pain - tears
streaming down
my face while
I choke on my
toothbrush,
laughing at the
absurdity of this
complete lack
of hope as my
body betrays me -
breath by breath
and moment by
moment.

I have felt hell
in the sleepless
nights when unsure
if dreams came
or if it was all
one blur of
unrest and wakeful
watching through
the inky black
of tortured night.

Hell they say
is a place for the
damned.
Hell can also be
here and now
on earth, where
hope flees in
ghostly white
against the coming
of the dawn.

© Eleanor Clark
9 October, 2015